


Fade into you

by dearly



Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Second Chances
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-29
Updated: 2016-03-29
Packaged: 2018-05-29 19:39:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6390577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dearly/pseuds/dearly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With Claire's sudden absence from his life, Matt comes to terms with his feelings and sets out to right old wrongs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fade into you

**Author's Note:**

> S2 stirred up all my Matt/Claire feelings again. Since it ended with some uncertainty, I had to write something hopeful for the two of them.
> 
> Title from Mazzy Star's song "Fade Into You":
> 
>  
> 
> _I want to hold the hand inside you_  
>  _I want to take a breath that's true_  
>  _I look to you and I see nothing_  
>  _I look to you to see the truth_  
>  _You live your life_  
>  _You go in shadows_  
>  _You'll come apart and you'll go blind_  
>  _Some kind of night into your darkness_  
>  _Colors your eyes with what's not there._  
>  _Fade into you_  
>  _Strange you never knew_  
> 

One night went by. Then two. After the fifth he lost count.

He ticked off a lists of reasons for her sudden absence - her schedule changed, she’d found another quiet spot to take her breaks, the weather was a little too chilly - but his gut told him that it was something else. If only he hadn’t been such a self-centered bastard...

He took an unsteady breath. The cool night air filled his lungs and helped to dull his senses. The rooftop visits were Claire’s nightly ritual when she was on shift. He tried to meet up with her as often as he could. Talking with Claire kept him grounded and made him feel connected to some sense of normalcy when his life felt anything but. It also didn’t hurt that she wasn’t afraid to call him out on his shit. He relied on her more than he’d realized. 

She had told him once that standing up here was her release, that working in the emergency room could sometimes feel like she was running a marathon while holding her breath. This nightly escape was her chance to clear her head before heading back to the grind. She needed a bit of quiet amidst the mayhem. He’d taken the advice and now tried to find quiet moments throughout the day to refocus and refuel. Meditation, prayer, whatever it happened to be it helped him, but it didn’t replace human connection.

Something was off. Something had changed since they’d spoken last. He cursed himself thinking about their last conversation as he waited a little longer, keeping one ear tuned behind him and one on the streets below. The sudden sound of the rooftop door creaking open caught his attention but his hopes were soon dashed when it was followed by the sound of a lighter being struck. It was only someone taking a smoke break. Someone else had discovered their spot. He sighed, hating the unsettled feeling clawing at his insides.

The sound of a distant siren was a welcome distraction. Before stepping from the shadows he replaced his mask still fighting a sense of guilt at portraying a hero while feeling like a fraud. He could try to ignore the feelings eating away at him but he knew they wouldn’t go away anytime soon, not until he’d spoken with her again. Before jumping from the ledge and into the chaos that awaited him, he took one more deep breath and promised himself that he would find her and make amends. 

 

* * *

  

“I don’t care who you are but unless you’re here to bring me pizza you can go to hell.”

She probably didn’t need to shout, but when someone buzzed her apartment after nine o’clock just as she had settled on the couch to binge on TV the last thing she wanted was a visitor.

“Hi, Claire,” the familiar muffled voice sounded through the speaker after a pause. “Sorry, I know it’s late but could I come up for minute? I really need to talk to you.”

Matt’s voice was the last she expected to hear, yet it was not an unwelcome one. He always seemed to be the exception to the rule. She hesitated for a moment with her hand hovering over the button before finally giving in and buzzing him through.

She greeted him at the door with folded arms and a skeptical expression that he could no doubt sense in the sharpness of her tone. “I’m surprised you didn’t just climb up my fire escape and crash through my window. Isn’t that how you normally get people’s attention now?”

He gave a small pained smile. “I thought I’d go the traditional route this time.”

She sighed and turned off the TV before taking his arm and leading him to the couch.

“I, uh...” He paused while seeming to choose his words carefully. “I heard the news when I was asking the nurses for your new address. I’m sorry.”

“Well, I’m not,” she snapped before she could control her anger. Whenever she thought about what the hospital had done, she almost trembled with fury. “I mean I miss my job and my friends, but I don’t miss that corrupt place. I don’t know what happened. When I first started, they cared about people, now they only care about their reputation. I couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t be a part of that anymore.”

He nodded. “They lost their best nurse,” he said quietly.

“They can kiss my ass.”

Matt chuckled softly. “So what are you gonna do?”

Claire grabbed a pillow and clutched it to her stomach as she leaned back against the cushions. “I don’t know. It all happened so fast I’ve barely had time to think about what to do next. I might try another hospital, Sinai’s perhaps or Presbyterian, or maybe a nice quiet doctor’s office - the hours would be better.” She shrugged before her gaze drifted back to him. “Maybe I’ll move. I’ve got some friends in Jersey.”

“You? Leave New York?” Matt asked with his eyebrows peeking out over his glasses.

“Stranger things have happened. Besides I don’t think this city needs me like it needs you.”

Matt cleared his throat. It was evident since he’d walked through the door that there was something in particular weighing heavily on his mind.

“Remember that last night we talked on the roof? I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said. These past few months I’ve been a complete asshole. To you, to Foggy, to everyone around me really. You were exactly right, as you always are. I’ve been isolating myself. I thought I needed to be alone so that I could focus on, well, you know...”

“Saving the world?” she asked with a smile.

“Or at least just Hell’s Kitchen,” he replied grinning before his face sobered again.

“Anyways I guess I got what I wanted - or deserved. The lawfirm dissolved. Foggy, Karen, and I went our separate ways. I mean I’m happy for them, that they’ve found their callings, but I wish it didn’t happen the way it did. It really hurt our friendships and it’s all my fault. We still talk but it’s - it’s _different_.

“I did the same with you too, Claire. I pushed you away and I hate myself for it. I mean I didn’t even know you quit until just today. If there’s one person who’s always been there for me it’s you, even when I didn’t deserve it. I’ll never forget that first night we met. I remembering panicking when I realized you could see my face. I’d kept my secret hidden for so long and I felt so exposed in front of you. I didn’t know it then but I was so lucky, maybe it was fate. And you’ve continued to rescue me since then, even if it’s just taking the time to talk. I don’t think you know how much you have helped me, probably because I’ve never told you. I miss those talks, I miss  _us_. I just wanted to come here and tell you once and for all that you mean the world to me. I know I have no right to ask you to stay, and I understand if you choose to move, but-”

“But you’d rather I not,” she finished for him. 

He shook his head. “I won’t deny that the thought of you moving has me feeling that panic again. I’m sorry, Claire, for all the mistakes I’ve made and will no doubt continue to make. I’ll do whatever it takes to repair the damage. If you want to have nothing to do with me, I understand. I’ll leave immediately and not contact you anymore. But if you still want...to be friends.”

She raised an eyebrow. “ _Friends_?”

“Is that not what we are?”

“We _are_ , but we’re also something else.”

She ran a hand down his arm feeling its solidness of bone and muscle through the fabric of his shirt before finding his hand and clasping her fingers around it. “To be honest, I don’t really know what we are.” She squeezed. “But whatever this is, I don’t want to let it go. I like you, Matt. I’ve tried not to, believe me. I’ve tried to forget you and move on, but I don’t seem able to. I care for you too much. I just don’t know where to go from here.”

He turned his hand over and threaded his fingers through hers. The Adam’s apple in his throat bobbed. “Maybe we’re not supposed to figure this out right now. Maybe we just take it day by day and see where it leads.”

Her stomach fluttered. She wasn’t used to revealing her feelings like this or feeling nerves, but judging his reactions she knew that she wasn’t the only one. Somehow it was like they finally made it on the same page.

“You know I wasn’t really planning on moving. I guess I just wanted to see how you would react to the idea.”

The corner of his mouth ticked upward. “Oh really?”

She tucked her feet up on the couch and leaned in closer to him. “So _if_ I stay, we...we take things slow, see what happens?”

The smile on his face broadened making his eyes wrinkle in a way that set her heart racing faster. “I’d like that. A lot.”

“Good. Okay. So...how about we start with pizza?”

He cocked his head in confusion.

She smirked. “When you rang the doorbell I thought the pizza guy had made a mistake again and I’ve been craving some ever since. What do you say?” She picked up her phone but paused before dialing. “Wait does Daredevil eat pizza?”

“No.” He laughed. “But Matt does.”

They ended up falling asleep on the couch. Her first thought upon waking the next morning was that she must have dreamed the previous night. But the empty pizza box on the coffee table and the warm body at her side proved her worries wrong. With a sleepy groan, the body rolled over and wrapped an arm around her waist pulling her closer. She sighed contentedly and closed her eyes.

It was real and it felt wonderful.


End file.
